McSweeney's turned it down, so I'm posting it here!
A List
The ingredients you specifically asked for on your sub from the chain sub shop that made me change my mind about wanting to date you:
A slightly toasted wheat roll
Three pieces of turkey
Three pieces of ham
Two pieces of cheese
Extra cucumbers
Extra green peppers
Some spinach
A few pickles
A little bit of salt
One squiggly line of barbecue sauce on one side only
(with two slightly burnt cookies that must still be warm, and the energy drink with the most caffeine.)
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