Jason Mulgrew is sort of a riot, more in the comedic sense than the "people raging with fists and/or guns" sense. If I was more interested in being a riot myself, I'd continue to write colorfully about the North Carolina tool referenced in the post below, who may or may not have been trapped in the city for an extra day, with a fiancee who had this to say about it, twangily:
"I HYATE it HYEAR. I HYATE it. It's so DIRRRTTTTYYY. And it's just the NOISE and no TA-REES, and just the TA-RASH E-VER-Y-WHERE. I HYATE IT. No, I don't know why we're having our engagement party HYEAR. No, it's all HIS friends. Yeah, no, I don't like INNY of them. Oh, no, we'll have to come back all the TAHM. He LOVES it here. Isn't he JUST a piece of WORK???? SHHHH, did I tell you I HYATE it?"
I would really hope the "man I love" would drag me to a place I hyated with people I didn't like either to celebrate shackling myself to him for an eternity of orange ties and pissing people off. Paradise. Ah.
Anyway, if I was Jason, I'd probably write about that more colorfully. In this case, I'll just reference this headline that he linked to the other day, along with his prescient observation that if you didn't know NOT to fuck with "avowed lesbians from New Jersey", you deserve what's coming to you. (The restaurant review below that post really takes the genre to a new and spectacular level.)
In other news, it's still raining. And also someone just arrived at my site by googling "vacuum cleaner penis", which I find disturbing both for me and for them. What the hell is wrong with you, vacuum cleaner penis Googler? I mean, how does that term leave your fingers at this hour of the morning? Go eat a Pop Tart and watch a cartoon, for God's sake.
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