Quotes from the airline security line:
Woman checking boarding passes: "That's how skanks think."
Man at metal detector: "Okay folks, wait for your bags to come down and take 'em, then we can all cha-cha real smooth."
Woman to her little boy: "Why can't you act normal? I am done. I am never going away with you again."
(Uh. He's seven. Don't write checks your mommy can't cash.)