A portly Dorothy in a blue gingham dress crosses a street downtown, running after a very thin woman in a pumpkin suit.
Dorothy carries a purse I recognize from Target instead of a basket. I am not certain of Dorothy's gender.
I almost rear-end the car in front of me.
12:27 *hey, that's my birthday! p.m.
I heart my Great Pumpkin t-shirt. I only do Halloween chic, of course.
retro to 11:00 a.m. I bring several bags of candy to my students, because I am all about the bribery. Because I am also a big goof, I bring animal crackers, and say, "For those of you who are dieting or diabetic." Briefly wonder if this is offensive. Not certain that I care.
Noon or so...Update status to "Laurie is crazy." Will not change for forseeable future.
1:32 p.m. Speak with
big ass tool gentleman on the phone regarding the sale of two Van Halen tickets for tomorrow night's show. He asks if they are "on Eddie's side". I do not know, and spend ten minutes I don't have trying to get the seating chart to load. After this, asks if they are "hard tickets." No. He can't commit. I hang up on him.
1:35 p.m. Resubmit Craigslist ticket ad. Field calls all afternoon from men - and one lone woman - who all sound like boys I went to college with, grown up and working in software development. Feel extremely old. Call friend and talk about cute yet likely inappropriate 25-year-old. Reborn. Also, eat more Milky Way Midnight Minis.
2:12 p.m. Go to campus. Lug leftover candy in bookbag for seminar people. Walk by person unwisely dressed as ninja, who screams statement about death to "friend" in student union. Am unnerved by his mask. Ponder lack of wisdom therein in current climate. Sit in cafe and listen to girl complain about her cell phone, and then a loud woman interview three hopefuls for Teach for America in succession. Listen to them talk about teaching. Breathe relief at my unjaded reaction to idealistic view of education.
4:01 p.m. Bail on writing class for another hour of law exam obsession. Wonder how got in this pickle? See first friends who descend upon candy. Friend emphatically bursts into "Leave a Tender Moment Alone" while perusing my music preferences on Facebook, where I have not listed Billy Joel. I dissolve into hysterics out of proportion to stimulus. Sure sign that issues are escalating.
4:30 p.m. Receive e-card from sister in California: "A day in the life of a screaming banshee." Funny, so do not focus on taking personally.
5:50 p.m. Pass by group of boys with bandanas on heads outside library gathering and discussing "strategic maneuver." Walk away quickly.
6:00 p.m. Discuss psychology of terrorism for two hours. Deliver impassioned speech in class about hatred of phrase "War on terror," beginning with pronouncement that "I don't like it because it's ridiculous." Amaze self at emotional reaction and ability to articulate response to the worst metaphor ever.
8:57 p.m. Arrive home to find group of approximately twenty young people on my lawn, dressed in costumes. Pass tiny devil in blinking shoes on the sidewalk. Candy operation is engineered by a woman standing on the porch who has apparently been living in my house for several days. I have never met her. Leave remains of candy on table. Roommate says, "Oh, you haven't met her? She's been staying here." She says, "Oh, you have good candy." Make innocuous, awkward comments. Go to room. Media law.