There's a saying in my family, a family that is full of them (on both sides I might add.):
"He's as happy as if he didn't have good sense."
I'm from Maryland and one of the great loves of my life is the true Maryland/DC old-style dialect. It's one of the reasons I love this statement, because it challenges the limits of grammar in ways that I enjoy, it doesn't really make sense, and it brings me slamming right back down to my roots in the best of ways.
Internet, I'm as happy as if I didn't have good sense.
I don't know why. I don't really have a particular reason to be happy. I'm still kind of a mess. I have so many bills due, including a storage unit man who calls me when I'm like a day late, and a degree I need to finish in ways I feel ill-equipped to handle. I'm dealing with some demanding personalities in my day-to-day and I'm feeling stressed about that. I don't have a boyfriend. My family and friends who are that close have their requisite challenges and issues. There's a lot I'd change.
But for now, in this space in my life, I feel happy. I feel like I'm acquainted with my lighter side, and I can't tell you what a relief that is after so many months of not knowing how to find it. I'm communicating fairly well. I'm handling things that would have set me spinning out just a few months ago. I'm enjoying putting together cute outfits again, whereas I'd slipped into a mode of "various combinations of black and gray" that I thought were just a reflection of being strapped for time but now looking back I'm not sure. It feels good to feel good when I leave the house, and I don't have to spend hundreds of dollars to do it.
I'm expecting a good weekend up here at BlogHer Boston and a great day on Monday at BlogHer DC. I feel really lucky to have found a good community, and to keep getting involved in things that inspire me.
On the way up here today, a really terrible, traffic-ridden drive, I listened to Patty Griffin's "Children Running Through" cd a few times through, and I cried when I heard "Heavenly Day." I love this song so much, and not just because she wrote it for her dog.
It might be a lot to ask, but I'd like to add tomorrow to the chain here. Wish me luck.
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