I'm going to try to post more in the coming months, and probably will move the blog to somewhere or something else like I've been threatening to do for two years now, just because I think it's time to put down the sippy cup and get out of my toddler bed where this content management thing is concerned. But for now this is where I'll stay because let's face it I'm a lazy bitch and dude, it's cold outside. How hard can I be expected to work?
I've been reading all kinds of resolution-y posts and e-mails, round-ups of memes for the first day of the first month of the year, and I really feel that I ought to participate in some way. Every time I read them, though, I just get overwhelmed. Which one do I do? Do I do the one where each resolution starts with a different letter of the alphabet? Assign them all a color? Jesus I don't know.
I didn't have a very mentally positive year last year and my hope this year is that I do. I want to be in better charge of my situation. I want to organize my life and get it in a shape I actually like and admire. I don't want to be capital-K KRAZY all the time, running around meeting odd deadlines but accomplishing nothing.
Today I went to my meditation group's new year's day gathering, a most outstanding fire ceremony where we wrote the stuff down that we want to get rid of first and put it in the fireplace and then our intentions and values for the new year and burned those up too. My group is populated with a number of intensely beautiful inside and out Persian women who constantly astound me with their way of expressing themselves, their way of walking in the world. I feel instantly better when I walk into this house, when I sit in this circle with other people who are open and true about what they contend with in this life and their utter commitment to making it better.
This was the best possible place I could have been today. My paper with the stuff I wanted to incinerate was packed with scribble. There is so much I want to let go of and break off and torch. Putting it literally into the fire and watching it crumble felt so good. My intentions for the year were a little bit harder to articulate. There are several things I want to do, priorities I want to get in order. I might write a bit more about them this weekend as they shake out in my mind.
Happy 2009, anyway. I'm glad it's here.