Why Am I Here?

There's so much to do before I die that this question is absurd. But ok.

Parent a child.
I don't know how, or whose, or when, but I have an intense desire to be a mother and I think it's important to my experience here to see if I can make it happen. I also think I'll be pretty damn good at it, and those are the things I like to try for sure.

Visit all 50 states.
I started traveling this country on my own three years ago and I'm constantly amazed by what I see and who I meet. I won't stop til I see the whole beautiful mess.

Own a home
I haven't, and I'd like to. I'm a roamer and a bit of a flake, it seems. I've tried on and discarded a few careers and a couple of towns. I think I'd just like to wake up quiet on a Saturday in my own house and work in the yard if I feel like it. It's not so complicated.

Fund a project that is of use to other people or animals
I'd like to move forward knowing I did something of value for someone or some greater good along the way.

Make a living primarily from writing and photography, but not a miserable, scraping one. One that allows me to live happily and stably and creatively all at once.
I believe in working. I've had a job since I was 18 years old and every day off since has been tinged with some kind of guilt, however slight, about what I'm not doing or ought to be doing.

I'll never starve for art because I think that's silly, but it would be nice to be compensated for my truest talents, even if it's not exactly what they're worth.

Have a season, just a season, of peace.
I'm tired of worry, of stress, of being sad and lonely and unfocused. With a season of contentment to possibly blend into the next and the next, who knows if the other problems would seem as bad?

Comments

[Genie]

"Make a living primarily from writing and photography, but not a miserable, scraping one. One that allows me to live happily and stably and creatively all at once."

Oh man that's a fantasy of mine one day too :)

[Tress]

1,2,3,4,and definitely 6. I seek peace too most of all.Thanks for writing.