Janis at Woodstock

Woodstock happened 40 years ago yesterday. I was minus one and a half years old, so it all happened without my knowledge. Also I grew up in a house that worshiped the Band so I've got some history, plus I've studied up. I went to the 1994 version in Saugerties which was kind of crazy and honestly I don't remember much but being grossed out by how filthy it was and how much I was learning to hate forced crowd situations and asshole guys who don't have anything to add to a conversation or an experience besides punching each other, although I did manage to go up on a hill and catch NIN and my Chilis before we had to leave. All things considered I had a better musical experience with them at Lollapalooza 1992, which was right up the street at Lake Fairfax and had a ridiculous lineup. Still one of the most fun days of my life and also, GAH, old.

If I could see one person perform live although it's physically impossible it would be Janis Joplin. Everything's been said about her that needs to be.

Seven Christmas Eves ago my ex-boyfriend left my house to go home to his parents'. I'd given him his presents and in cleaning up the paper and other crap on the dining room table, I found a wrapped stack of what were clearly cds. No card, no nothing. I opened it and it was Janis Joplin's cds. I assumed they were from him, and that in his weird universe it was ok to leave a covert Christmas gift on my table in a pile of stuff and not say anything to me.

In a shocking act of assertiveness, I called him up and told him that at least he could have mentioned that these were from him, and um, maybe something about the act of gift-giving could be nice for a change instead of some weird, awkward throwaway action. I cried out of frustration and proof of my  knowledge that he'd just never get it and neither would I (This dysfunctional exchange, like all of them, had everything to do with our relationship and the chemical interaction that made us both love each other dearly and hate each others' guts. By the way.)

Not only did I think this was kind of a bizarre choice as a Christmas gift because we'd been dating for a long time and because if there's anything I do it's keep myself in music and that may sound bitchy but it's hard to explain, the whole situation. He knew he was screwed and he hadn't even managed to weird out over my birthday two days later yet. He finally admitted that his sister told him it was dumb not to at least hand me my present, and then he uttered a phrase that basically summed up our entire relationship:

"But it was her entire catalog."

Good thing for him that Janis died at 27. And thanks to her the part of my brain that cares what I get in recognition of any holiday sort of shorted out and I've since realized that it doesn't matter. People either get it or they don't and no amount of wishing, or gifting, can make it so in the "don't" cases. Anyway she's right:

"Music's for grooving man, and music's not for putting yourself through bad changes. You don't have to take anybody's shit, just to like music. Music's supposed to be different than that."

I wish her life had been as easy - or as manageable, anyway - as she was talented.

This annoys me because it's all stills but if you haven't seen Festival Express check it out for this performance - and also if you're a music history geek in any way. I saw it in a theater in Baltimore and I cried real tears. I'm such a dork but it was totally worth it.

She was quite a Capricorn. We take things pretty hard a lot of the time.

Comments

[AnnQ]

Great post....and no wonder you loved Lollapalooza 1992 -- the line up WAS amazing!

[Kim]

I hadn't heard of Festival Express until I saw Tom Rush with my parents earlier this year. He was there, and he was selling the DVD, and I should have bought it.

[clizbiz]

I knew you and I were kindred spirits and this proves it. Beautiful post, Laurie.