Biting my tongue (a little bit.) (Not really, no, not so much.)

You know what I want to do? I want to write a scathing rant about the Catholic church and its decision to divert funds and human resources to investigating the possibility of extraterrestrial life at the same time it is threatening to take away funding for its social service operations in the District of Columbia should the city legalize gay marriage.

STABSTABSTABSTABSTAB.

I can't believe I just Googled "Catholic extraterrestrial."

After years of reasoned, quiet disengagement with the institution out of genuine affection and respect for my upbringing and family I am just about ready to go completely, vocally rogue because I've had it with misplaced priorities and ridiculous stances that not only serve no one, but are also selectively discriminatory to other human beings and punishing to the very individuals the Jesus of my understanding walked this earth to serve ACCORDING TO SISTER JOAN, YOU JERKS.

Whatsoever you do to the least of my people, that you do unto me, as I recall, yes? Do not force me to go through my scrapbooks because it's all there.

If you believe in a heaven and you really want to go there, and protesting the expansion of civil and legal rights for homosexuals is a part of that process for you, does taking services away from the elderly and poor, the traditionally underserved, ethically fit into it, regardless?

Yeah? Well that's a problem. 

Adultery is a sin of the first order, right? It's a busted Commandment. Annulments are okay in the aftermath, though. There are whole offices dedicated to granting them. People are forgiven. There are thieves in every town, allowed to continue living there, and stealing is another big gun no-no. Catholic Social Services doesn't pull up stakes in towns because thieving miscreants are sapping tax dollars either incarcerated or roaming the streets. Addicts, gamblers, porn freaks, you name it - they're everywhere, mister Pope sir, sometimes holding public office, running these places! Is the response to this to shut down the shelters so heterosexual homeless people won't have anywhere to go either? Batten down the hatches! Do not show them the money! 

No, it is not.

I'm ranting when I said I wouldn't but I am incensed. I need to research all of this more but what I'm afraid of is I'll just confirm what I think I already know and I'll reach the sad, scary conclusion that I'll have to break entirely, even on the surface, even in terms of setting foot in buildings or participating in ritual ever, which I know is no threat to the church at all but it should be.

You'll take away services from the most needy citizens in the capital of this country while you'll travel to the ends of the earth - to places run by governments guilty in some cases of human rights crimes and vile abuses of oh, let's say, WOMEN? - to evangelize and find priests who fit the most basic of requirements.

They're men.

I am tired of abuse and discrimination in the name of supposedly holy things. 

Maybe it's a crisis of spirit of my own that's driving this home. I don't know. Why is so much about scarcity and lack? Where is compassion here, hand-in-hand with our own hardline views? Who is in charge of these universal shenanigans? Way to gear up for Advent, Vatican. 

This all fits together in my brain, I promise.

At the end of a conference I attended today one of the session leaders who is a yoga teacher led us through this breathing exercise of Oms and exhalations, stretching out our arms and finally bringing our hands to our heart and literally setting intentions for ourselves related to how we were going to treat ourselves with compassion as we moved forward with whatever we were doing in our lives.

It occurred to me that I don't do that anymore, that I am constantly moving, brain and body, thinking about what I'm not doing or what I need to be doing or where I need to go that I either haven't gone or don't want to. I haven't taken the time to check in with myself, beyond the most basic of environmental scans. It felt good. I felt connected to something - to the other people in the room or to my own heart and mind for a change and it took that to realize how disengaged I am. 

Tonight my father and I had a talk in the car on the way home from a basketball game about Ft. Hood, about what people are going through in the military, and I watched our own sometimes divergent views come together around the issues involved - the suffering of others and the lunacy of systems, on the danger of doing things in the same way over and over in spite of crushingly bad results.

I don't understand this way of thinking. I don't understand a monolithic entity that continues, in an age of great change and challenge for so many people, to dig in its heels, to hate, to take away. It is the opposite of spiritual growth, in my excommunicated eyes. And honestly, I'm not stupid enough to ask for a shift in belief system that makes it all of a sudden throw its arms wide open to homosexuals, because I don't believe that will happen. But what I would like is for humanity to intrude upon whacked out principle, and for commitments made to needy citizens in major metropolitan areas to be kept, because that's just the right thing to do. It's like the golden rule in action, or something.

Comments

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

Hi.

I love you even more.

The end.

[Jurgen Nation]

I love this SO MUCH.

I wish we could at least get to a point where all sides would think about WHY the other side thinks the way they do. You know what? I'm a HUGE supporter of the pro-choice movement. My mind will never be changed and I will donate whatever I can to the cause. But while I don't agree with it, I think I can think about where they are coming from and what would make them believe the way they do. Doesn't mean they get a pass or that I'm tolerant of them, but I like to think we should all just try to envision why. That being noted, I feel that the Catholic Church is infuckingsane and they're acting like asshole toddlers. Punishing a huge group of people who depend on the support of volunteers and compassionate hearts because you don't agree with something? FUCK YOU.

I wish we could have the attitude that two can play at this game. Their tax-free status should be revoked. Why in fuck do we need to be giving tax shelters to organizations that explicitly exclude people? No. I fucking hate this shit. GROW THE FUCK UP. (Not you. And sorry. I'm just pissed.)

[Maternity nursing clothing]

and may i quote:

"If you believe in a heaven and you really want to go there, and protesting the expansion of civil and legal rights for homosexuals is a part of that process for you"

yes it should be that way

[fertileaid views]

agree with that. i guess we people have different perceptions in life. anyways, i just enrolled myself in a yoga. my friend invites me on this.

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