Day Five Stream of Consciousness

I love NaBloPoMo for how it makes you scrounge a dark corner in a room, desperate for words, with five minutes left to spit them out. 

I love it for how it makes me remember that the reason why I picked this stupid name -- this LaurieWrites that I hate so very, very much -- was because I was halfway into my wine six years ago, broken hearted, desperate for an outlet, and this exact same space is what I found. 

I love it for how I know that other people I love and admire and respect are doing it, for how there is a quickening pulse in my strangely small collective of a writing world, that this year feels so much more vibrant, for some reason. 

I love how we have become more urgent as a result of what I'm guessing is our strange exhaustion. 

I love how there are three minutes left. 

I love how we're all still here. 

I love that I still think that I have something to say, that I agonize over topics and conclusions and constructs, even though there is no defined audience. 

I love that these posts don't get the perfect picture, that I don't care about the pixels and the diagrams. 

I love the messy and insane and the stressed and the everything of this. 

As a card-carrying glutton for punishment, I'm sure I always will. And I kind of love that knowledge too. 

Comments

[Elizabeth]

I love that it was published at 11:59. :)

I'm loving NaBloPoMo too, and finding lots of new great blogs. I've done it in years past, but this is the first year after a really extended break from blogging publicly (I am an old school blogger who still has a Livejournal which can be set up to be read by members only)and it feels nice to "write" in your head, and feel that accomplishment after you publish.

[Elisabeth]

I always plan on doing a whole bunch of posts before hand to use when I'm running behind and I never do. I always end up in the same boat as you!