Wednesday

People are living. People are dying. People are suffering in relationships and jobs and life situations all around me. People are falling in love. 

People are doing what they are terrified to do and people are stumbling through the monotony of a job they hate or are just merely accustomed to enough that they don't know it's killing them. People are accepting the status quo. People are getting a dollar menu baked potato from Wendy's and going back to work to clock other people's hours. People are living with people they don't like because they pay the bills. 

People are living. Dying. Suffering. Falling in love. 

(Walt Whitman did this better, I know. He heard America singing. I suggest you leave now and reference his work.) 

How we are not all in awe of the crazy power of what is happening to people all over the world, every second, next to us or thousands of miles away, is a testament to the power of our biologically-fueled function of denial, mostly, and also our hardwired need to put one foot in front of the other. To keep walking. To play our hand, to get what's ours -- to assure ourselves that June will be better than January. 

People are numbed out. 

People are pointlessly hashtagging stuff on the internet like our lives depend on it. 

People are telling you every second who they are and want to be and aren't yet and what they need from you and holy Christ they are so frustrated! 

People are settling. 

A good friend had a baby tonight. Another just stated a big truth publicly, necessarily. Yet another is receiving care from  hospice in her home. Another watched her shows and went to bed. Another is up way past her bedtime, not long before her kids get up, assembling a gift, a ministry from her hands so that a very sick friend will see tangible evidence of her contribution on earth -- the human collateral that says she has mattered in the way she absolutely has.

I just told a relatively distant relative a truth I needed to tell only her, because I know she will understand. I know she'd read a chapter of my story today or eventually and get it. I didn't feel like I had much today, but I had that, and all of a sudden that was enough. 

On other pages, people are complaining because a huge corporation did not invite them to an expensive party in an artificial princess world, and as ridiculous as that is, who can blame them, really? On others, people -- people I love, even, or at least like -- call me names because of my ideology, my purely-felt interest in humane treatment for others, for equity, for the right to live right, as I see it.  

Tell me this world is not an insane, complicated, beautiful, horrible, fever dream miracle. Go ahead. Tell me that tomorrow we'll do better and I won't believe you. Tell me that every day most of us try? I will. 

Comments

[Stimey]

Most of us try.

Love you, Laurie. I'll keep putting one foot in front of the other if you do too.

[annettek]

Yes, most of us try, we don't always succeed, but we do try. I see you there, using your words, and your humor, and doing the best you can. I'm with you.

[sweetney]

I try. I will try.

And this is beautiful. This is capital fucking T Truth. Thank you. xo

[Mom101]

This is a post I will bookmark and come back to. Often.

[Deb]

Damn. This feels like a deep breath, necessary, good. So good.

[Helen Jane]

Aye, the paradoxes.
Thank you for this.

[Loralee]

This is one of those "I needed this today" posts.

[TheAvasmommy]

I hope we try. The result is too horrible to contemplate if we do not.

[pgoodness]

Yes, most of us try.

I love this.

and I'm pretty partial to you as well. :)

[TwoBusy]

Your mind moves in infinitely fascinating ways, Miss Laurie. This was... well, something more than wonderful.

That much I know for sure.