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July 22, 2012

Comments

Lauren Marie Fleming aka Queerie Bradshaw

Yes to using your words. Always strive to use your words. Both as a writer and as a person of the world. I'm glad you got to enjoy the show. I'm glad that woman stood up to the guy. I'm glad you use your words.

Bon

this resonates deeply with me...the confrontation over the seat, the bathroom scene, the various confusing, heart-racing breaches of social contract on multiple axes.

twenty years ago, in a giant beer hall with two whole toilets for women and a lineup a half-hour long, i went into the men's room with my friend. she walked directly into one of the stalls (they also had two, plus two urinals...bad bladder math, i think, in that bar) while i stood and waiting. a guy at the urinal with his back to me turned his head and made a good-natured crack, to which i responded "just need to pee." the guy IN the occupied stall heard my voice and came raging out, shouting and cursing at me, calling me a variety of epithets. he slammed me through the swinging door back against the brick of the entrance and punched me in the eye as we rolled backwards. i'd never been hit before. i've never been hit since. i was so shocked i did almost nothing - only later did my adrenalin run.

just for standing there, for breaching the sacrosanct line of gender, the sacrosanct line of daring to be in the "wrong" place.

the aggression that accompanies those breaches always takes my breath. and i think you are talking about more, here, about the courage to use words to stand in the space where lines are not so sacrosanct. i am, in my messy rambling, trying to say, i stand with you.

edenland

I just sat in this post for a while, drinking up your experiences and thoughts. It was a nice reprieve. I like people who think, and wonder, and marvel.

xx

asplenia

I did the same thing the previous commenter just posted -- sat here and let your experience settle around me as if I were there. I hate confrontation. I might have burst into tears right that moment. I too have cried at kindness. I absolutely loved the poetic tone of this line:

"ut I cried too, from the kindness, the knowledge that for every person who might hit you in the face, there is often an equal and opposite intuitive, a person who can smell upset, who will help you. Maybe this is what gets more important when you're older, I don't know."

Your writing is deeply affecting. Loved this post.

Stimey

This made me sweat a little and feel stressed. I can only imagine how it was in the moment. I'm glad you found your space and were able to be okay in it. But I get this, totally, on a visceral level.

Casey

Wow. This is an incredibly beautiful post. Thank you for your words and taking us through this with you.

Katherine @ Postpartum Progress

What Eden said. Exactly.

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